I’m Helen, a one-time writer, some-time actor and permanent admin skivvy in the office I work at in the City. I don’t eat, sleep or breathe blogging… in fact on the contrary, I’ve never done it before. I might be crap. But stories swim about in my head and so I thought I’d use this to write them down. It’s how I reason things out, how I work out what I think about things, and I’d love to hear what you think about them too.
I am mum to 22 month old Eve, who is wonderful, if a bit lairy. And my second baby is due in May. Which terrifies me rather. Eve likes sleeping (lucky us), Peppa Pig, butter and eating ice direct from the freezer (I pick my battles). We live in North London with my husband and her dad. (For clarification they are the same person – we aren’t that weird.) His name is Ben.
My mum died in 2012 and my life changed in ways I couldn’t have imagined. Sometimes I am overwhelmed by all that we have lost. I think it is probably true to say I am still deep in the mire of grief, whilst at the same time experiencing the greatest joy of my life: my baby. So this blog is about that really: losing my mum and in the midst of all that pain trying to raise a small person and a happy family. The ups and downs I will chronicle here.
It won’t all be sad, or depressing or even all about my mum. But just as her life and all that she was continues to touch us now, so her death informs all that has happened since. My mothering will be learned without her guidance or support or wisdom. But never without her love.
Thanks for reading. If you want to get in touch please do so at: firstname.lastname@example.org.