Without My Mum

On Love

May 3, 2015 Written by Helen - 11 Comments

I was reminded by a friend the other day of something I said to our NCT group when the babies were very small. I have blanked it from my memory, but apparently it went something like this: “I don’t think this baby likes me very much; and to be quite honest, most days I feel...

The Battle to Breastfeed

April 20, 2015 Written by Helen - 6 Comments

On the rare occasion this poor second baby gets so much as a mention, the conversation tends to go something like this: Me: Christ! I’m 37 weeks and we haven’t bought a single thing for this baby. Let’s make a list. Ben: OK. Number 1: Steriliser. Me: Oh thanks. Thanks SO much. Thanks for having...

Maternity Tights (and other minor indignities)

March 23, 2015 Written by Helen - 4 Comments

I like being pregnant. Last time around I’d have gone so far as to say I was good at it. This time I am rather less so, as illustrated by the numerous ghastly afflictions from which I find myself suffering. “Glowing” I am not. I shall list them here – don’t read while you’re eating...

Guilt-free Childcare?

March 1, 2015 Written by Helen - 18 Comments

I have come to the conclusion that without your mum there is no truly guilt-free childcare in the world. Only to your mum can you hand over a crying baby, close the door, climb into your bed and sleep, knowing that nobody minds. That she loves your baby as you do; that her love for...

The sex: to know or not to know?

January 28, 2015 Written by Helen - 4 Comments

Not, we’ve decided. And this time around I can honestly say I don’t mind one bit. With my first baby, and in the immediate aftermath of my mum’s death, I am afraid I did mind rather, and it bothered me terribly that I minded. I felt guilty. But I wanted a daughter, and in those...

Mince Pie-Gate

January 27, 2015 Written by Helen - 7 Comments

Christmas seems like a distant memory now (thank god. Not really. Well, a bit), but I am afraid Mince Pie-Gate remains all too fresh in my mind. We were visiting family friends (i.e., not our own friends, and Manners were required). Having munched her way messily through half a Panatone, Eve demanded “mince pie.” I...

First Post – here I go

January 21, 2015 Written by Helen - 16 Comments

It’s three years since my mum was diagnosed with metastatic cancer of unknown origin. It was already in her bones and lungs and it was all too late. She died six months later, on a July day in 2012, with all the people she loved beside her. She was 63. I was 32 and 5...

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